you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
