after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
