can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
