we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
