dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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