great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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