i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
