My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
