Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
