4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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