and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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