Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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