At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
