so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There's a naked man in my car right now.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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