Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my being single is dangerous.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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