is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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