Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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