If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner