Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Someone shattered a urinal.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.