I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I need moral support for this bender
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
