My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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