What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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