somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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