The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
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He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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