Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize