the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
