I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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