Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
