The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My liver just had a heart attack.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
