you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
This house was built for laser tag.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
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We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
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Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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