i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
