You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize