Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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