Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
