In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
