but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The air was thick with penises
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
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Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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