You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
