I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
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ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
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My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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