we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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