I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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