Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
