I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
it's great music for shaving your balls
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
