Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
