The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
