please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
