Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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