you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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