I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
