He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
