she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
