Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
