so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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