I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
