he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize