And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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