He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
