id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Still dying that you shit outside
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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