yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
