tonight lets celebrate not being married
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The power of my boobs compel you
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
