we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm both gender and math confused
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
