We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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