So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
