Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
