Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
